therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
