We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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