I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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