oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
