We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
