Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
