That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
