just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
