just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
