so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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