Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
