did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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