If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
