So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
