I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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