She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
