Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize