Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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