can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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