What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
