Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
