Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
