we're blogging at a bar
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
