i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
