If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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