I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
