apparently the secret to your success is patron
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
