so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize