I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
