My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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