Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i now understand why vodka
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
