coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
