Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I deserve this hangover.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
