I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
