If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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