when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
