if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
