And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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