Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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