Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
