I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
