im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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