I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Still dying that you shit outside
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
