Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
