oh god the rape fog is back!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
