at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
