When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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