Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
