He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
