i wish there were pregnant emoticons
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
50% drunk capacity currently
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
