opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
