everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
vagina is talking i cant
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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