No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
