She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
