I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize