yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize