I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
