who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
did i walk over a car last night?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we should paint friendship bongs
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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