My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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