is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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