recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
