am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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